Greetings From Smashville! Season 13, Week 14

by Jas Faulkner, Nashville Correspondent

The boys are back in town!  The boys are back in town!  They’ve taken in the sunshine and the glitz and glamour that is California.  They’ve spent some time in the shadow of the Valley of the Dolls and came away triumphant, coup counted, points accrued and the busload of them having eaten In-and-Out burgers with no protests from PETA or the Chik-Fil-A spokescows.  Before we get down to the business of Week Fifteen, lets take a look back at the week that was Fourteen.  Buckle up babies, because it was the Thrill Ride of the Winter. 

Diss-Dos  Ducks

Nashville at Anaheim  Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

If it walks like a Duck and talks  like a duck, then it must not be Pekka Rinne or Jerred Smithson or Patric Hornqvist or Sergei Kostitsyn or Shea Weber, all of whom led the Preds on an impressive win against the Disneyland Waterfowl.   Rinne told the foul birds no forty times that night.  Smithson, who is a force to be reckoned with at the faceoff circle, delivered a neat shot past Jonas Hiller and for a time it seemed like he was the only person in the Western World to have seen that it went in.  Well, maybe Jonas saw it, too, but he wasn’t talking.   After taking too long to decide, Tronna made good on the goal and we only saw the start of a death glare.   This was followed by a floor show from Wade Belak and George Parros, who got into a fight over who was prettier, Jennifer Anniston or Angelina Jolie.  After the referee assured them that they were both pretty, and paused to mention that he had a third cousin who once cleaned out the footbath where Jolie got her toes done, they were sent to the sin bin to think about their affiliations with Team Ang and Team Jen.  Hornqvist, who loves to dance with the Devil at the most dangerous part of the ice scored a goal, putting them ahead of the Toontown Quackers. The game was then finished off with empty net gimmes from the Elfin Goodness that is Kostitsyn and Shea Weber.

The result?  Jonas looked sad, which made every woman over 40 watching want to feed him cookies and tuck him in, the Big Kats had lots of happy and Barry Trotz joyously invoked The Hockey Gods.  With a final score of four to one in favour of Nashville, it was all good.

Kings of Wishful Thinking

Nashville at Los Angeles  January 6th, 2011

Hornqvist made two turns at the net and came away with as many goals and the hope that he would go from being kinged to hatted.  The man whose tribal name is to Dances with Mack Trucks At The Opposing Net was part of a very impressive showing that night from Nashville. Having been beaten twice already this season by the Purple Helmeted Warriors of Lack, the Big Cats had something to prove and prove it they did. That Lindback Moppet made 24 saves, thus asserting the grander Dharmic Insight that he is right where he belongs.  Om!  Colin Wilson showed Nashville’s Die Hard spirit with a goal of his own against L.A.  The Sparkle Twins, Sergei and Svatos, provided an Easten Bloc to any hopes on behalf of the overly tanned and toned that a third win against Smashville would  be happening that night.  Horqvist said afterwards that it was all about luck and confidence. Trotz winked at The Hockey Gods, who winked back and promised more Defining Moments.   Meanwhile, the fans back in Tennessee said, “Whoopee ti-yi-yo, mofos!  Have your people call my people! ”  The final score? Five to two in favour of Smashville!

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?

Nashville at San Jose  January 8th, 2011

Leggy started off the final game of the tour with a netter during first period, but the Big Fish, who need this win for oh, so many reasons were not going to be easily hooked by Nashville.  This trip belonged to Pekka Rinne, who logged an impressive 42 saves against the Big Fish and Sergei Kostitsyn, who managed to get his name on the stats sheets for every game during this swing through California.  In spite of the fact that the Sharks are on a multi-game losing skid, they still managed to present the Big Cats, especially Rinne, with some pretty serious challenges. Jumbo Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau presented some tough tests for The Great Wall of Finland and he passed them all execept for one lone puck that was delivered by Fish rookie Logan Couture. 

Even though Goc did not get the score against his former team that said he was hoping for, he had to be happy with the results of this trip overall.  Speaking of pre-trip disclosures, I’m  hoping that Joel Ward was a little less disturbed by his roommate, Kevin Klein’s underoos.  I am also hoping that JW will remember that some of us are old enough to be his mama when he answers the intern’s Preds Press questions.    

So what’s up next?  Tomorrow night the Predators get Wild on Minnesota at Bridgstone.    Part Two of Strum and Twang will go live soon at THW.  At some point, we’ll see sunshine.  Until then, this is Jas Faulkner seeing you at ‘The Stone and The ‘Plex  and online at Twitter and Facebook.

Jas Faulkner


  • andrea

    Jonas was not sad on Sunday night, which resulted in acid flashbacks to the 2009 playoffs. :(

    • Jas Faulkner

      Aww, I’m sorry. They’ll break out of their streak soon.