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Second Menu

Nashville Predators Acquire Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood and some guy.

 

by Jas Faulkner, still the Nashville correspondent as of 12:40 central

A beaming representative for Ms Underwood met the barrage of flashbulbs and shouted queries from the press with a raised hand and a serene expression.

“There were a number of things we considered before deciding to go with Nashville.  The fact that the lighting makes all of those jumbotron closeups far more flattering at Bridgestone than they ever would be at ScotiaBank Place was a biggie.  There’s also  the weather in Tennessee to consider.  You have to agree that temperate climates are far better for Carrie.  She won’t have to bundle up so much and can now wear clothing that is really, really cute. All in all, I see this as a great step forward for the Predators.  Everyone, from the criminally underpaid goalie people in those big, bulky clothes on up to the seventh man will do so much better with Carrie’s special brand of sunshine in their lives!”

A Predators spokesperson on hand added , “We pay the goalies?”

When reached for comment, Predsnation said, “Don’t be stupid.  The organisation made a very good trade for Mike Fisher.  Who the hell is Carrie Underwood?”

Jas Faulkner

Jas Faulkner

contributing editor
Jas Faulkner is a minimally socialised writer and artist who lives and works in Nashville, Tennessee. She hearts her attitude problem.
Jas Faulkner
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