Pitchfork Media’s Review of the NHL Lockout

[For context of this joke, please see Pitchfork.com]

Lockout 2012

Artist: Bettman and Fehr

(The League and The Union; 2012)

Rating = 4.7

Gary Bettman

Even in the album art, Bettman fails to recreate the whimsy of Bon Iver. (Kellen/Icon SMI)

If you’re looking solely for consistency, then the latest Donald Fehr/Gary Bettman collaboration would have to be considered right up your alley. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it’s more of the same.

Like most reunion tours, ‘Lockout 2012′ is a cash grab for those involved. Their motives (compounded with a lack of new material) are a hard sell to loyal fans, many of whom feel like this is a less inspired version of what they’ve heard in the past.Some things have changed since the release of ‘Lockout 2004′, however. Most notably, Donald Fehr has replaced Bob Goodenow [Where Are They Now?]. You may remember Fehr for his part in another stylistically similar project with Major League Baseball.

If there’s one thing this group has mastered, it’s recreating the quiet/loud technique popularized by The Pixies. Some days go by without a whisper, as they let hope and optimism build, before breaking the tension with disparaging remarks and thinly veiled acidic attacks at one another.

Obviously, the infamous animosity within the group is still going strong. Fehr and Bettman rarely make public appearances together.

Like all super-groups of the past, battling egos are playing a major part in the creative process. For

every moment of clarity, we’re forced to bear witness to more and more of the same old tired rhetoric.

These CBA Negotiations just don’t feel like they have in the past. The group’s latest output could be considered to be their “Sky Blue Sky“- a watered down release, compared to the maddening brilliance that was on display in 2004.

Maybe it’s time the group take some time off from one another, and pursue solo projects. Give it another 8 years, and who knows what the next lockout could produce.

Pros: Islanders are moving to Brooklyn.
Cons: Basically everything else.

For fans of: Sports that aren’t hockey, muddled business rhetoric, Mumford and Sons.

Other reviews you may like:  Jet- ‘Shine On’

Follow Wayne on Twitter