Starting today, generations of Star Wars fans will flock to theatres to see the first of the newest installment of the Star Wars trilogies. Having seen the first six movies, I can’t help but notice that certain NHL players match up perfectly with characters from the Star Wars universe. Nerd out for a minute and take a look these 18 Star Wars characters and their uncanny NHL counterparts:
Luke Skywalker: Jonathan Toews
Who else? Both stand for what’s right and come out victorious in the end. Skywalker could not be tempted by the Dark Side. Toews plays an honest game. Neither are particularly violent. Yet, they are the ones who are on top.
C-3PO: Pierre McGuire
Come on, they look eerily similar. Both also have immense knowledge—Pierre knows the birthplace, junior team, junior coach, and former teams of all NHL players and C-3PO is “fluent in over six million forms of communication.” Plus, Glenn Healy would make an excellent R2-D2 in between the benches with C-3Pierre.
— Star Wars (@starwars) December 15, 2015
Han Solo: Joe Thornton
Fearless leader. Gets no respect. Excellent on the offensive attack and evading enemy attackers. Joe Thornton is the NHL’s Han Solo. Thornton’s off-the-ice battles with the Sharks front office epitomize the fictional transporter’s scuffles with Jabba the Hutt and Dark Side management personnel.
Greedo: Doug Wilson
With Thornton as Han Solo, Sharks’ General Manager Doug Wilson makes the perfect Greedo counterpart. Solo hates Greedo. Greedo hates Solo. And there’s a mystery over who shot first.
Chewbacca: Zdeno Chara
Though Thornton’s beaded teammate, Brent Burns, may be considered the best Chewbacca by some, the ultimate choice has to be the massive Zdeno Chara. Just listen to his war cry after hoisting the Stanley Cup.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Henrik Zetterberg
Like Obi-Wan, Henrik Zetterberg learned from the best—Qui-Gon Jinn and Steve Yzerman, respectively—and went on to teach the next group of superstars in Anakin Skywalker and Dylan Larkin. Both also have great beards.
Yoda: Pavel Datsyuk
As the old, wise master of his craft, Yoda taught the young padawons about the force and what it means to be a Jedi—free of the distractions of the Dark Side. Pavel Datsyuk is the same way with the art of dangling. Both also have a gentlemanly aura about them—unless provoked.
Episode I Anakin Skywalker: Connor McDavid
The next one. The one who will completely change the game. Both Connor McDavid and child Anakin Skywalker have been viewed as the solutions to the Edmonton Oilers and Jedi’s problems. Last place and the Dark Side are thorns in their sides, but McDavid and young Skywalker could be the answer their long been waiting for.
Episode III Anakin Skywalker: Alex Semin
Once considered one of the world’s best, the selfish Alex Semin has fallen far from the player he once was. Now toiling in the KHL, which is basically the Dark Side of professional hockey, Semin could take over games in his prime and when he gave it his all. The same goes for the adult Anakin Skywalker. Selfish ambitions led to a life on the Dark Side.
Jar Jar Binks: Ilya Bryzgalov
Just imagine the conversations Jar Jar and Ilya Bryzgalov would have. Though Bryzgalov is no longer in the NHL, both goofballs confused their opponents and end up winning in the end. Both also fell from grace. Bryzgalov exited Philadelphia on a low note and Jar Jar accidentally ushered in a galactic empire, replacing the Jedi-monitored democracy.
Porkins: Phil Kessel
Admiral Ackbar: Lou Lamoriello
*Opposing team breaks out of their zone* “It’s a trap!”
Wedge Antilles: Justin Williams
In the original Star Wars trilogy, Wedge Antilles was essentially the Jedi’s “Mr. Game 7.” There for the destruction of the Death Star TWICE, Antilles and Justin Williams both could be counted on in the clutch. Williams, of course, starred for Los Angeles TWICE in Stanley Cup run, as well as Carolina’s 2006 championship season.
Boba Fett: Dustin Byfuglien
Boba Fett and Dustin Byfuglien have one distinct similarity: both are generally bad guys, but you can’t help but root for them. Boba Fett is a bounty hunter trying to hunt down Han Solo. Byfuglien takes penalties and delivers questionable, and possibly suspension-worthy, hits. Hopefully Byfuglien won’t meet the same demise as Boba Fett.
Jabba the Hutt: All Goalies
This, of course, is from the perspective of the larger goal advocates of the world. Today, goalies take up the vast majority of the nets, leaving little room to score. Likewise, Jabba the Hutt takes up the vast majority of the room he’s in.
The Emperor/Darth Sidious: Mike Babcock
Recognized as the best, Babcock and Darth Sidious both demand perfection from their subjects. Both have terrifying scowls when angry. Babcock also oversees the NHL’s Dark Side: The Toronto Maple Leafs.
Darth Vader: Dion Phaneuf
As the Emperor’s top soldier, Darth Vader leads the Dark Side’s exploits. Dion Phaneuf does the same for Babcock’s Maple Leafs. His progression of head shots show that he hasn’t always been angry and evil, though.
Original Trilogy Storm Troopers: The Rest of the Maple Leafs
Resembling the bumbling group of misfits tasked with following Darth Sidious and Darth Vader’s orders, the other Leafs players are the perfect comparison. They’ll unfortunately never compare to the original storm troopers modeled after Jango Fett (RIP). Likewise, these Leafs will never compare to the glory days of Frank Mahovlich, Red Kelly, Johnny Bower, and Tim Horton.
— Sauce Hockey (@SauceHockey) November 2, 2015
Thoughts? Comments? Share below or hit me up on Twitter: @PolakWolak
Tony Wolak is based in the Washington D.C. area and covers the Detroit Red Wings for THW. As a former junior and college hockey player, Tony has a unique perspective on Red Wings topics.