The (Unofficial) Montreal Canadiens Holiday Wishlist

Everyone knows the Montreal Canadiens as a whole are probably wishing for a few wins nowadays, but what about each Habs specifically?

Here’s an inside look at the top of each individual Hab’s wishlist:

Max Pacioretty

A couple of linemates that I can get to know over more than one game.

Torrey Mitchell: Someone to fill me in ever since returning from injury. How’s our lead on Boston these days?

Daniel Carr: With three goals as—unbelievably—the team’s leading goal scorer this month (tied with Paul Byron), to win the Molson Cup as the team’s most valuable player for December… even though it will probably still go to Carey Price somehow.

Andrei Markov: For the “Six Million Dollar Man” to catch on as a nickname in reference to my salary and surgical enhancements… and secret presidency of the Lee Majors fan club.

Lars Eller: The third-line-center spot back, to go back to being able to fly under the radar offensively.

Alex Galchenyuk: More ice time… even if only more than Dale Weise. Seriously?

Dale Weise: The Midas Touch. No one seems to accept things made out of stone for some reason.

P.K. Subban

More than one goal.

Paul Byron: More time on the penalty kill.

Nathan Beaulieu: Getting rid of the nagging sense that my time spent on the first pairing is of the fleeting variety.

David Desharnais: New posters of Dale Weise and Tomas Fleischmann to replace the one of Max Pacioretty in my bedroom. Good times. Good times.

Tomas Fleischmann: The ability to renegotiate contracts mid-season.

Mike Condon: A time machine to go back and relive life, however brief, as a legitimate Calder Memorial Trophy candidate.

Carey Price

Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price
Montreal Canadiens goalie Carey Price – (Jean-Yves Ahern-USA TODAY Sports)

Something to fill that one empty spot in my trophy case.

Dustin Tokarski: For the NHL to suddenly pass a by-law forcing teams to carry three goaltenders at once. Another forcing them to give each at least a few starts every now and then would be nice too.

Greg Pateryn: The ability to make a mistake every now and then without looking over my shoulder.

Jarred Tinordi: A key out of head coach Michel Therrien’s doghouse that doesn’t involve another defenseman getting injured.

Sven Andrighetto: Some understanding of dart aerodynamics in order to get a better grasp of how I keep getting left out of Therrien’s lineup game after game.

Tom Gilbert: Never signing that deal with the Canadiens and being forced to live up to the heightened expectations of a $2.8-million salary.

Brendan Gallagher

A little less pressure for when I return.

Devante Smith-Pelly: Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry as linemates again.

Jeff Petry: The number of Jamie Benn’s truck (and a speedy recovery).

Tomas Plekanec: For seasons to end in October.

Brian Flynn: To be traded back to Buffalo. Things were so great there last season.

Alexei Emelin: The recognition that I’m about so much more than throwing big hits. I also polka (probably).

 

Happy holidays!