For a game replete with big, fast, tough players with questionable dental plans, hockey is a pretty funny sport in many ways.After all, not only are there goofy mascots, funny nicknames and clever advertisements, but with the advent of Twitter, a whole new dimension of hilarity has ensued. Tweets from fans, players and even teams themselves have made the rounds, some nearly rising to the level of urban legend.
I’ve covered ground in this area in the recent past. Back in July, I wrote this piece about ‘fun and interesting’ Los Angeles Kings tweets. In September, I penned another version of the same theme, giving it the exact same title with the highly creative ‘part two’ add-on.
Good things come in threes, or at least that’s what Hollywood movie producers would have you believe. I’m expanding my target zip code with this one by including not just the Kings, but the entirety of the NHL. Since it takes a little research, I didn’t have the energy to hunt for tweets going back further than about two years, so that’s my timeline cutoff.
With all that said, it’s time for five of the best NHL-related tweets you’ve ever seen. Enjoy!
One of the most inventive parade tweets ever
Humor is best when it’s both clever and bitingly insightful in as few words as possible. This tweet from May, 2013 is most definitely both:
Do thousands of fans walking away from Maple Leafs Square count as a parade?
— Bonk's Müllet (@BonksMullet) May 14, 2013
If you read the replies following the tweet, you’ll see a fantastic Walking Dead reference thirteen comments later. The entire thread is understated genius at work. Poor Maple Leafs fans.
The Dallas Cowboys get zinged by the Dallas Stars
Tit for tat tweets between sports teams aren’t uncommon, but what is rare is to see them between two teams in different sports from the same city. Such is the case in this slap-down of the Dallas Cowboys by the Dallas Stars.
The exchange began with a dismissive (if perhaps unintentional) tweet from the Cowboys’ official Twitter account, detailed in this ESPN.com article:
It started with a snarky tweet that was surely meant to be sent out on a Cowboys staffer’s personal account: “Similarly in the category of nobody-cares … the NHL is back! RT @josh_ellis11: Just six weeks until pitchers and catchers report, everybody.”
How did the Stars’ Twitter account respond? See for yourself:
— Dallas Stars (@DallasStars) January 8, 2013
Pure, unadulterated awesomeness.
ESPN gets burned
I confess: I saw Sharknado. It was, of course, terrible, well-deserving of a Mystery Science Theater parody.
The guy running the official ESPN Twitter account decided to make fun of the San Jose Sharks by connecting the flick and the team in one of his tweets. The Sharks’ Twitter response would cause every NHL fan to rise in a collective standing ovation:
Hey @espn, thoughts on showing more hockey highlights?
— San Jose Sharks (@SanJoseSharks) July 12, 2013
Now I’m actually looking forward to Sharknado 2.
Nobody beats the Kings for clever tweets
As a Kings fan I have a healthy dollop of bias, but the majority of objective observers would likely agree that their Twitter account sends out some extremely funny tweets. This innocuous conversation between a random fan and the person running the account has one of the greatest replies you’ve ever seen:
@theactivestick I say hurl. If you blow chunks and he comes back, he's yours. But if you spew and he bolts, then it was never meant to be.
— LA Kings (@LAKings) March 13, 2013
I was always taught to write using action verbs. Judging by the vomit synonyms, so was the author of that tweet.
A thrilling toilet rescue of Joel Ward
When nature called, Joel Ward went to use the restroom in a Dallas hotel. He didn’t come out for 40 minutes:
— Joel Ward (@JRandalWard42) October 5, 2013
This Sporting News article about the incident not only has a fantastic title, but includes action pictures of the daring ‘rescue’ itself.
No hockey players were injured in the sending of these tweets.
Walter McLaughlin is a Los Angeles Kings correspondent for The Hockey Writers. He is an avid sports fan, having followed the Kings since living in L.A. in the mid-1970’s, as well as suffering through Seattle sports teams’ general futility. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Finance and has worked in community banking for over 25 years, specializing in SBA loans. He is married and has two daughters.