Prior to the 2022-23 season, the Winnipeg Jets added both flair AND flare to their in-game experience. “Flair”, in a Jennifer Aniston “Chotchkie’s Bar & Grill” way, and “flare” in that they added some heat to the Jets’ gameday milieu in the form of the goal song. The basic principle is that if a Jet scores a goal, True North Entertainment plays their personalized goal song in celebration.
The results were varied, but spectacular. Nate Schmidt’s selection of Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega was esoterically inspired, whereas Mark Scheifele’s The Greatest Showman from the Hugh Jackman musical was as bizarre as you’d imagine from an urban city dweller with goats.
Related: Winnipeg Jets Top 10 Prospects for 2023-24
My personal favorites included Dylan DeMelo’s This is How We Do It by Montell Jordan and Brendan Dillon’s This is Why I’m Hot by MIMS. DeMelo scoring is Halley’s Comet rare, but accompanying that rarity with some R&B smoothness sprinkled with some irony is entertainment gold. In all, the goal song was a great remedy to combat the staleness that had metastasized throughout the Jets’ entertainment product.
New season, new song choices. Rather than be a slave to reality, let’s preselect various goal song choices for a handful of Jets players:
Morgan Barron – Stitches by Shawn Mendes
Sometimes the lowest-hanging fruit is the sweetest. Morgan Barron returned in Game 1 of the Jets’ playoff series against the Vegas Golden Knights after being administered 75 stitches. The ensuing folklore was well-earned and cemented Barron as a fan favorite moving forward.
While Stitches is not necessarily a banger, Mendes is a Canadian kid from Pickering, Ontario home of NHL stalwart and broadcaster Glen Healy. If Barron wants to lean into the cult status, I believe Jets fans would appreciate the literality.
Neal Pionk – Captain Chaos by GBH
Denying one’s true self is a recipe for malcontent. Neal Pionk is Captain Chaos for better or worse. Sometimes the best strategy is to lean into who you are.
Game-to-game, Neal Pionk is a momentum changer on the back end. His play against Connor McDavid in the 2021 Playoffs was inspiring. Far too often though, his play is uninspired, and a net negative. Based on goals against replacement (GAR – a one size fits all number that encapsulates how valuable an individual player is in terms of on-ice play, relative to a replacement-level player) he ranked in the bottom 40 of all NHL players (minimum 100 minutes of ice time):
Outside of the 2020-21 season, Pionk has been an overall minus in expected goals against per 60 (xGA/60) and Corsi against per 60 (CA/60) (both stats measure defensive proficiency). Not exactly superhero production.
Logan Stanley – Victory by Megadeath
My analysis over time has been less than flattering for Jets’ resident ladder, Logan Stanley. He does however have personality and has shown flashes of solid play. My favorite moment was on Dec. 5, 2021, against the Toronto Maple Leafs.
That moment galvanized Jets fans and appeared like a genuine bonding moment for the Jets. Fighting Wayne Simmons and yelling “victory” like a gladiator is good stuff, making the Megadeath song apropos.
Mark Scheifele – I Can’t Drive 55 by Sammy Hagar
From Mark Scheifele’s surprisingly quaint Manitoba Public Insurance endorsements to the obvious 55 reference – this song just fits. Sammy Haggar’s bellowing of “55” is ready-made for a public address system and I envision the crowd chanting it in unison at its issuance.
Scheifele is still a Jet for a variety of reasons, but primarily I believe because he has not ruled out signing long-term in Winnipeg. I am car wash levels of wishy-washy on the prospect of a long-term deal for a 30-plus-year-old forward, but he is a really good hockey player, and defensive warts aside, projects to be good for years to come. I’d prefer to sign him now, rather than carry uncertainty into the 2023-24 season.
Ville Heinola – Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash
Will this be the year that Ville Heinola escapes purgatory and becomes a regular part of the Jets’ roster? Our Magic 8-Ball predicts, “outlook not so good”. With the signing of Dylan Samberg and ostensibly five veterans returning, Heinola will once again be on the outside looking in.
If Heinola shows up to training camp wearing black, and talking with a southern drawl, we’ll know he has embraced his inner Johnny Cash.
Gabriel Vilardi – Jump by Eddie Van Halen
Quick trivia fun: Who holds the NHL record for the fastest goal in their first NHL game? None other than Jets’ newest addition, Gabriel Vilardi. The goal came just ten seconds into his first NHL shift as he beat Sergei Bobrovsky on the first shot of his first NHL game. Bravo.
The above factoid has nothing to do with the song selection, but rather this song is a nostalgia pick. It is difficult to imbue too much personality to Vilardi, so here’s hoping he goes with a Jets 80s classic.
Alumni Bonus (As a Tribute to Both Blake Wheeler & Pierre-Luc Dubois ) – From New York to L.A. by Patsy Gallant
The official music video from this French-Canadian songstress encapsulates the 70s perfectly in only three minutes. Best of luck to both gentlemen in their future endeavors.
That’s all folks. If you have suggestions on potential Jets goal songs, or feel that I missed the mark on mine, please comment below.
