What The F**K Trade Rumors: Verbal Diarrhea Style

Gaborik and Rangers can't match Caps Offensive Firepower (bridgetds/Flickr).
Gaborik has been playing with little confidence and the subject of an Ottawa Sun trade rumor and other trade rumors may follow also. (bridgetds/Flickr).

Unfortunately this is the time of year where trade rumors start to run the roost err appear on the radar in earnest. People, whether they are fans, media, or “experts” try to come up with their dream trade scenarios hoping that they will actually happen. The rumor mill is churning NHL fans and our goal is to bring you the some of the worst and one or two good ones as well. Why? This is an illustration of why rumors can be dangerous. Every so often we will have Lyle Richardson of Spectors Hockey weigh in with his opinions. Lyle is an expert at making sense of trade rumors. At the bottom of the post, we encourage you, the readers to come up with your own rumors whether they are good or bad. This will be two parts slapstick, one part wisdom, and one part something insane. Let’s see what happens with these trade rumors.

We will list a few proposals, mainly from HFBoards but not exclusively from there. Thankfully they are cooperating fully because not many would not. It is time to see what is lurking in the inbox for this week.

New Jersey to Boston trade rumors?

Yes this gem is truly one that a couple years ago looked pretty good on the surface but boy has it gone south now. With the advent of trade evaluations on NHL13 and some fantasy leagues (like Yahoo), it is easier to take a look at these proposals. However, some never ever pass the sniff test. This has an explanation as well from Pint O Guinness so let’s get down to business.

To New Jersey: Jordan Caron

To Boston: Andy Greene

Rumors have New Jersey shopping the 30 year old Defense man looking for a forward who can help fill the void in their scoring woes.

Jordan Caron looked to be a promising prospect with a big frame, has a good number of NHL games experience in hand. He has been kind of lost in the water so to speak. A change of scenery might do him some good.

Greene would add to the depth Boston has on Defense, move could also make another blue-liner on Boston expendable by the deadline to acquire a solid depth forward for a long playoff run. I know we have Jay Pandolfo, I like the sound of Briere when it comes to the post-season.

Jordan Caron may fit in nicely alongside Adam Henrique, is young and has some talent, but won’t make the cut on Boston roster, could be the type of guy that the Devils need.



WOW! That is all I will say about this one. The problem with Caron to be perfectly honest is that there are 50-75 guys just like him in the NHL these days. He just does not have the offensive upside to justify a trade rumor like this. Andy Greene is a defenseman with offensive potential and is having a pretty good season for New Jersey. He did have eight points in one week this season already. Caron has struggled mightily in the NHL and something tells me New Jersey would have a use for him in Albany when they really need actual scoring depth. This is what makes the trades nearly laughable.

Jordan Caron’s highest upside is a third or fourth line player at best while Andy Greene is a number two or three defenseman. I rest my case. This trade is just outright abysmal for the Devils and a steal for the Bruins. If Lou Lamoriello ever made this deal, he would need psychiatric counseling.


From the Big Apple to the Arch?

Our next presentation involves a straight defensive swap. It is a classic 1 for 1 deal involving the New York Rangers and the St. Louis Blues. Sometimes you can see these proposals coming from a mile away and as always, our goal is to bring these to the table to get your thoughts. Are you ready? Here it goes……

Michael Del Zotto for Kevin Shattenkirk

Rangers lack a right handed dman who can qb the powerplay. The Blues need a left handed number 2 dman. Thoughts?


So what about this one? This one looks decent on the surface. Both guys are solid on the man advantage, play a good amount of minutes, and are 40+ point producers. However, that is where the similarities end. Kevin Shattenkirk is a responsible guy who never should have been traded by Colorado. Him and Alex Pietrangelo are fun to watch together. Why on Earth would St. Louis mess around with that pairing? This is what I do not get. We are not going to even introduce this year’s stats or last year’s. Honestly we do not have to. If anyone has seen how Michael Del Zotto has played defense this season and most of last, you would know that the Blues want no part of him, even if St. Louis has some budget concerns.

Honestly, Shattenkirk just plays the game better than Del Zotto. The Rangers would have to offer a pretty high pick to even have St. Louis entertain the idea. It is not such an outrageous as far as trade rumors on the surface but if you even think about it for a second, this is one that makes zero sense for St. Louis.


The Edmonton Pipeline Trade Rumors Strike Again?

All was quiet on the “Western Front” and then this trade proposal came in, which is our final one this week. This trade offer comes from Hemsky_83 and well you can judge for yourself the merits or lack thereof as far as this one. Here are the details.

Ryan McDonaugh (1.3M – due for big RFA payout)
Aaron Asham (1M)

Jordan Eberle (6M x 6yr)

Ryan Whitney (4M – UFA)

Gives NYR a true RW to play with B.Rich and a warm body on the backend in Whitney, while Edmonton gets some bottom-6 grit with Asham and a top-pairing Dman to work with Schultz heading into the future. Whitney’s an impending UFA that’s money off the books for NYR in the off-season. He could honestly turn it around – just needs a setting change.

Is this fair? If not what do NYR/EDM need to add?


When you see trade rumors that say what do I need to add, that is your first sign of trouble. Simply this trade is awful from the start. Even if McDonaugh were to be too expensive, there is no way Edmonton could sign off on this deal. Yes they want to get rid of Whitney but they would riot if Eberle was traded in a scenario like this. Edmonton has to learn how to use Whitney but that is besides the point and needless to say, this trade is not the solution without a major adjustment.

This is one where neither side would really be all that happy honestly. Time will tell how these trades go but I can tell anyone with a pulse that neither side really would want to pull the trigger here.

That is it for now. Next week we will have three more trade proposals that range from sensible to the obscene. If you have an offer, we want to see it so leave it in the comments section. Thanks again for reading.