Hockey at the Movies: The Ultimate Fictional Hockey Team

Hockey movies have captured the hearts of fans all across the world. Although there aren’t as many of them compared to other sports, the ones that entered the marketplace established an uncommon following.

Similar to hockey fans’ loyalty for their favorite team and favorite sport.

With a plethora of funny, quotable, and talented characters throughout hockey movies, putting an all-star team of sorts together certainly isn’t a problem. Here is a look at the ultimate fictional hockey team roster.

Names are listed in alphabetical order.

Forwards:

1. Adam Banks

It goes without saying that the most talented player on the Mighty Ducks teams was the “cake-eater” from Edina, Minnesota. Banks started out with the rival Hawks, but joined the Ducks after it was determined that he did live in District Five.

Banks was the key to the Ducks’ championship in the first movie of the trilogy, and scored the shootout winner to beat Iceland in the second film.

2. Connor Banks

Banks was Mystery, Alaska’s star sniper. Even though he shot a man in the foot with a pistol, the court in Mystery didn’t send him to prison so that they would have their “cruise-missile” when they played the New York Rangers.

In the game against the New Yorkers, Banks impressed the Rangers enough for the club to sign him to a minor-league contract.

3. Ned Braden 

Unlike his Charlestown Chiefs teammates, Braden wasn’t a fan of fighting and the rough style that made the Chiefs successful. Another aspect that made Braden different was that he was an American and a college graduate. Oh, and he was the Chiefs’ leading scorer.

Even though Braden wouldn’t fight, he found his own way to lead Charlestown to the championship, as seen in the video below.

4. Charlie Conway

Conway was the quintessential player and leader of the Mighty Ducks. He knew the most about hockey, and developed a special relationship with coach Gordon Bombay (It didn’t hurt that Bombay was dating his mom).

Charlie played a prominent role in each film. Against the Hawks, Conway scores on a penalty shot with no time remaining to win the championship. In the second film, Conway selflessly sits out the last game against Iceland so that Banks can return from an injury.

In the final movie, we learn that Conway was officially given the “C” only to have it be taken away from him by new coach Ted Orion. By the end of the movie, Orion names Conway captain again, and he sets up the game-winning goal against the Eden Hall Varsity Warriors.

But, Conway doesn’t do this before his old coach credits him for all of the magic with the Mighty Ducks.

5. Reg Dunlop

The player/coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, Dunlop turned the Chiefs from a losing team into a championship contender by advocating fighting. Similar to Conway, Dunlop wasn’t the best player on the team, or the best fighter, but he was the glue that kept everything together.

Between his one-liners, bounties, and everything in between, there are very few characters in hockey movies that can rival Dunlop.

6-8. Jack Hanson, Jeff Hanson, and Steve Hanson

The Hanson Brothers

If there was ever a line that put terror into the opposition, it was the Hanson brothers. The trio are the most iconic players in any hockey movie in history, and it is safe to say they will never be replicated.

Someone may put on the foil, start a pre-game brawl, or shake a coke machine until they get their quarter back. But they won’t be able to pull off the black-rimmed glasses and flow that the brothers had.

Not to mention, it’s nearly impossible to have as much of an impact in a first shift as the Hanson Brothers did.

9. Ogie Oglethorpe

For a rookie, Oglethorpe has plenty of notoriety. The Chiefs missed playing against the 21-year-old early in the season because he was suspended, but he was on the Syracuse Bulldogs roster for the last game of the season.

In between, Oglethorpe was deported to Canada for his actions in the United States. However, Canada refused to accept him. No wonder he was one of the most feared players in the Federal League.

10. Carl Racki

Every team can use an agitator or a pest, and Racki fit that role to a “T.” After Racki didn’t make the Mustangs roster in favor of the smaller, more skilled Dean Youngblood, he became a thorn in the Mustangs’ side during the playoffs.

Racki went over the line on more than one occasion, and he ended Derek Sutton’s season with a dirty trip.

11. Gunnar Stahl

Iceland’s top scorer, Stahl played like a men among boys against the Mighty Ducks. He was the leading scorer at the Junior Goodwill Games, and carried his country to the championship game.

However, Stahl couldn’t spell Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney in the last round of the shootout.

12. Derek Sutton

Sutton was the captain of the Hamilton Mustangs for a good reason. The star center scored 92 goals during the Canadian Junior League’s regular season, and took Youngblood under his wing when the winger joined the team.

However, Sutton’s season, and his NHL dream, were put on hold in the playoffs after Racki’s dirty play put him in the hospital.

13. Stevie Weeks

The last addition to the Mystery, Alaska squad, Weeks was a teenager who skated the town’s frozen river every morning. On a team full of speedsters, Weeks was clearly the fastest on the roster.

Weeks’ play was impressive enough for the Rangers to sign him to a minor-league contract.

14. Dean Youngblood

Youngblood was one of the purest goal scorers on any roster of any team in any hockey movie. After all, how else would a skinny kid who can’t fight make a team in a Canadian Junior Hockey League?

Dean’s goal-scoring ability translated to junior hockey, but it took him a while until his physical play improved. Youngblood demonstrated the total package in the last game of the season.

His penalty shot goal sealed the championship for the Mustangs, and his victory in a fight against Racki cemented his position as a true all-around player.

Defensemen:

1. John Biebe

Biebe was the leader of the Mystery squad. Biebe played in Mystery’s “Saturday Game” for the longest amount of time of anybody in the town.

After being cut from the team, Biebe rejoined the roster for their matchup with the Rangers, and wore the “C” for Mystery. Biebe scored a goal and added two assists in the game.

2. Dave “Killer” Carlson

Once the Chiefs were committed to fighting, Carlson showed his willingness to fight anybody. His fight with Sparky Donaldson earned him his nickname “Killer,” although Johnny Upton would say that he was a “mess” more than a killer.

Carlson also took on Tim “Dr. Hook” McCracken in one of his many bouts in a Chiefs uniform.

3. Billy Charlebois

Every team needs their matinee-idol, and Charlebois was that in Charlestown. On a team that was never afraid to shed blood, it took the Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan native the entire season until he finally bled during a game.

Despite the cut, the defenseman still had girls swooning over him on the ice.

4. Huey Hewitt

The Mustangs’ assistant captain, Hewitt was a physical defenseman who had a mean streak.

This wasn’t more evident that during a series of events that included him shooting a puck at a referee. Hewitt’s actions led to his suspension for the remainder of the playoffs.

5. Tree Lane

Lane was Mystery’s biggest defenseman, and had a shot to match his size. Early on, Lane wouldn’t use his size in the defensive zone.

However, by the time the Rangers rolled into Mystery, Tree’s hard shot equaled his tenacity in front of the net and along the boards.

6. Fulton Reed

To say that Fulton wasn’t “fleet of foot” on the ice is putting it mildly. But even though Reed had trouble skating, his slap shot from the point put fear into the opposition.

The proof of this is Reed’s warmup in his first game. Despite his 20% accuracy (one out of five), Reed’s howitzer allowed the Statue of Liberty play work to perfection.

7. Johnny Upton

Upton was the captain of the Charlestown Chiefs, and was also one of the few players on the roster to wear a helmet. Upton’s major on-ice moment occurred when he was chased, and then hauled down into the boards, by Syracuse’s Clarence “Screaming Buffalo” Swamptown.

However, the defenseman knew how to get back at owner Joe McGrath during a team fashion show, as seen below.

Goalies:

1. Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney

An A student, Gaffney won the state championship for Maine three years in a row before joining the Mighty Ducks. She didn’t play much in international competition, but her one save won the Gold for the USA.

Gaffney’s best game as a Mighty Duck came against Eden Hall’s Varsity team, when she shut out the Warriors in a 1-0 win.

2. Greg Goldberg

His style may have been undefined, he might have made more saves if the puck was a cheeseburger (as Russ Tyler bet he would), but regardless of his shortcomings, Goldberg was one of the most popular players on the Mighty Ducks roster.

Goldberg became a man in the net, but one of his shining moments actually came as a defenseman when he scored the game-winning goal as time expired against The Eden Hall Varsity Warriors.

3. Denis Lemieux

Lemieux was small in the net, and certainly didn’t have the greatest stats in the world. But his biggest problem was that he didn’t know “who own da Chiefs.”

However, if you wanted to learn about the finer points of hockey, there is nobody else that you should learn them from than Lemieux. (Just hope that his allergies don’t make him puke while he is talking).

Did we miss anybody that you would have liked to see on the roster? Let us know in the comments section! 

 

 

 

Michael Rappaport

Michael Rappaport

Michael Rappaport is a junior at New York University majoring in Sports Management. He is one of the Featured Writers for the New York Rangers for The Hockey Writers, and joined THW in January of 2012. In addition to his work for THW, Michael has been featured in numerous publications such as New York Hockey Journal, Yahoo's Puck Daddy Blog, The Huffington Post, Spector's Hockey, and Kukla's Korner to name a few. You can talk hockey with Michael by sending an e-mail to michael.rappaport@nyu.edu, or if you want to shoot a quick message, following @Mike_Rappaport on twitter.
Michael Rappaport

7 Comments

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required Email Address * Name Email Format html text mobile